Mixed feelings.

A three month internship in Jerusalem at the Times of Israel. Great, I'm overjoyed! Stressing out a little because it's far, I'm not used to writing in French but still really really happy. The last couple of days are extremely hard on me emotionally in Brussels as the moment when I am going to leave everyone I love far behind me. But it's only three months, it's not the end of the world, it's everything I had hoped for, a big adventure!
At the airport I act blasé although deep down I want to let myself cry all the tears I have in me. I can't though, I'm with my mum, in public, I hold everything in. My eyes are already puffy from crying really hard the night before anyway. Time to say goodbye at the ID check, I give in, let a few tears out but quickly gain back control of myself and stop.

I wait in the lounge, I'm okay, online chatting.  We board, I'm still good, I read, watch Hatufim, eat. Then my episode is over and I realise I forgot to download the next one. I'm to tired to read, I pull my cap down and try to go to sleep but the thoughts creep in, slowly, painfully. My eyes are tearing up as I wonder what I am doing on this plane, I start questioning my motives, my needs and wishes. Do I really want this? Or is it me trying to please everyone and bluff them by pretending I have a dream? Is it really me? Where/what am I going to? It's swirling in my mind, a hurricane of bad thoughts. I eventually realise my fear is only being far away from my friends, family, love, cosy habits. It's only for three months but it's soooo hard, I can't stop crying now. I go to the toilet and catch my reflection in the mirror; bloodshot tired and tear-y eyes look back at me.
When I get back to my seat I calm myself down and manage to get some sleep.

We land and as usual their highly trained airport security spot me just as I step in the airport. Some mild questioning, it's always the same. Walk to the ID check, sent - with apology from the guy - to the detention room for ten minutes and I'm given back my passport with no more questions. The luggage aren't on the conveyor belt yet. I chat with three enormous Christians while I wait. I see my suitcase, grab it and I'm out of there. I step out of the airport, board the shared taxi and the bad feelings are all gone. I'm extremely tired but I'm smiling in my seat.

I've been here for a day now and it's not very easy as I miss some people a whole lot but it's okay, I'm okay, it's just for three months. I know I will have fun and enjoy myself. I start work on Sunday but the adventure has started today.

Shabbat Shalom everyone!



    The gospel plan salvation is not difficult to understand if you simply read it as God inspired it. Just read the Bible and believe it.

    The Scriptures only get hard to comprehend when men distort, pervert, and misrepresent the clear teachings of the Bible. Man's opinion can and does make if difficult for many to understand God's plan of salvation.


    Mark 16:16 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.

    1. Who believes will be saved.
    2. Who is baptized will be saved.
    3. Who does not believe will be condemned.

    It is not difficult to understand.

    John 8:24 I told you that you would die in your sins; if you do not believe that I am the one I claim to be, you will indeed die in your sins."

    1. If you do not believe Jesus is the Son of God you will die in your sins.

    There is nothing complicated about that statement.

    Acts 2:38 Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, everyone of you, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

    1. Repent in order to have your sins forgiven.
    2. Be baptized in order to have your sins forgiven.
    3. After repentance and baptism you will receive the indwelling gift of the Holy Spirit Himself.

    There is nothing unfathomable presented here.

    Romans 10:9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

    1. You must acknowledge Jesus as Lord to be saved.
    2. You must believe in the resurrection of Jesus from the dead to be saved.

    Nothing mysterious about that.

    Galatians 3:26 You are sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus,

    1. Through faith in Christ Jesus you can become a son of God.

    Nothing troublesome in that statement.

    Galatians 3:27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

    1. Men become clothed with Christ by being baptized into Him.

    There is nothing confusing about that.

    Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith---and this not from from yourselves, it is a gift of God.

    1. We are saved because of God's grace. No man earns his salvation.
    2. We are saved through faith.
    3. The gift that God gives is salvation.

    There is nothing enigmatic found here.

    Acts 2:47 .....And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

    1. The Lord and only the Lord adds to His church.

    Nothing inexplicable in that.

    Acts 22:16 And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.'

    1. Saul was still in his sins until he was baptized in water.

    You do not need a degree in theology to understand that.

    John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

    1. Whoever believes in Jesus can have eternal life. Salvation is available to all who hear the gospel.

    There is nothing difficult about that.

    1 Peter 3:20-21...were saved through water. 21 and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also---not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ,

    1. Water baptism is essential to salvation.
    2. Water baptism saves you if you have good conscience toward God.
    3. Without the resurrection of Jesus no one could be saved.

    You do not need a masters in education to understand that verse of Scripture.

    Is the gospel difficult to understand? No it is not. The gospel plan of salvation is only made complicated when presented using man-made traditions.

    1. FAITH: John 3:16
    2. REPENTANCE: Acts 2:38
    3. CONFESSION: Romans 10:9
    4. WATER BAPTISM: Mark 16:16



    YOU INVITED TO FOLLOW MY BLOG. http://steve-finnell.blogspot.com

    1. In the future could you abstain from spreading the gospel on my blog please?

  2. If it makes you feel any better, I am extremely proud of you (while also being pretty damn jealous)! But seriously, I think you are so brave going out there all by yourself, I know that it would take me months to prepare and even then, I would be more of a wreck than you at the airport! I know you miss home but believe me, this experience will change you for the better but I know it will also just add onto the beautiful person you already are. Miss and love you!

  3. Aw <3 Thank you :) I literally had ten days to prepare my suitcase and mentally. So crazy!
    I miss you and love you too! Come visit me!! :D


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